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April 17, 2015 | by Masumi Goldman
Why I Gave Up Moderation

I’ve been debating whether or not I should write an article about this topic for quite a while because it’s a bit controversial, but this morning, I finally decided that it was time. None of this may resonate with you, and that’s ok. I am posting these thoughts because they might be helpful in analyzing your own wellness journey, and they might even encourage you to change your current approach.

As the title of this article suggests, I’m not one to tout the “everything-in-moderation” mantra. I’ve come to the realization in recent years that the concept of moderation just doesn’t work for me.Moderation

Let me start at the end, rather than at the beginning: What I have discovered over the past few years is that a wellness journey is very specific to each individual. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. What works for one person will not necessarily work for another. I have experimented and tweaked habits and tried various techniques to find the wellness path that works best for me, and my ultimate conclusion is that my personality just doesn’t allow for moderation. Rather than fighting this realization, I have embraced it. And I assure you that traveling along a healthy path is easiest when you are fully in tune with who you are as a person— your habits, tendencies, and overall personality.

Let me tell you a quick story.

The other day, I was talking to Kate (our Director of Marketing), and she told me about her former colleague who would open a small bag of pretzels each day at her desk for a mid-day snack. Rather than devouring the entire bag (that’s my style), she would eat a few, and then re-seal the bag with a clip for the next day’s snack.

I just stared at Kate in silence. Cue the crickets. Who was this woman? She must be the poster child for moderation! Incredible! How did she eat five mini pretzels and save the rest for later? She was capable of snacking moderately and moving on with her life? How?!! I’ve run across people like this, and it baffles my mind. My own husband has a very similar personality. He can take one bite of a cookie and say, “That was delicious. I’ve had enough.” My personality would never allow for such behavior.

Let me illustrate my own scenario in the same office setting: I would open a bag of pretzels, eat five, and close the bag with a clip in an attempt to practice moderation. Then, I would return to my work. Rather than concentrating on my work, I would sit and obsess about the remaining pretzels even if I wasn’t particularly hungry. After wasting a reasonable amount of time trying to show restraint, I would re-open the bag of pretzels and finish them all.

Why is it that Kate’s colleague can snack on a few pretzels, and I cannot? Do I lack discipline? No, it’s not that. I have a tremendous amount of discipline. For years, I willed my body out of bed at 5 am each day to hit the gym, even if I went to bed at midnight. I’ve pulled all-nighters to study. I’ve committed myself to strict healing diets in the past to heal from inflammatory conditions. I definitely have discipline. BUT, what I see now is that practicing moderation has nothing to do with discipline!

I am an all or nothing kind of girl. For me, it’s easier to skip the pretzels altogether or to eat them all in one sitting. It’s more of a challenge to eat a few today and then to try and eat a few each day going forward. Moderation is tortuous for me.

I don’t buy candy and cookies and junk food for my house because I can’t just eat one cookie. It’s MUCH easier for me to not have any cookies in sight. Without cookies in my pantry, I don’t even think about them! There is no struggle. When I do want a fabulous dessert, I go to a restaurant and have one. I eat it with great enjoyment, and then I continue on with my life. There are no fabulous desserts in my pantry. All or nothing works for me. Eating junk food on a daily basis in moderation doesn’t.

Today, take a few moments to analyze your own personality. Does your personality allow for moderation? If so, carry on. If you have more of an all-or-nothing personality, don’t fret. Work with your strengths by creating routines. I think I thrive so much on my morning routine because my personality craves the structure and discipline. I don’t leave it up to fate to decide whether I will have a bite of a doughnut for breakfast. My weekday breakfasts are non-negotiable. I plan them in advance, and that’s it! I don’t even have to make a choice to practice moderation because I’ve created habits that work for my everyday life. It works for me and keeps me happily moving down Wellness Lane. I am not sure if it will work for you. It all depends on your own personality. Either way, it’s food for thought. Thanks for reading.

 

 

18 Comments
  • No moderation for me either. It’s everything or nothing.

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  • Thank you so much for posting this! This is how I am exactly! It’s so nice to hear.

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  • Thank you so much for sharing! I am 100% like you and while I continue to try different things like calorie counting, tracking macros, etc., I realize that those diet lifestyle plans don’t work for me. I better succeed when I cut out the bad completely and focus on the good and healthy!

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  • The thing is, you still are eating in moderation, just a different sense of the word. You may not be eating 5 pretzels a day each day, but you eat the whole bag one day then don’t eat them for the rest of the week. That is still moderation. You’re not eating a whole bag every day. Your moderation is over a longer period of time. Hers is each day her diet is moderated, yours is each week (or so).

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    • Well, I would eat the whole bag in one day, which is why I don’t buy the pretzels at all! That was just an example of what would happen if I did buy a bag of pretzels. I don’t buy pretzels. I stay away from junk completely because abstinence is just easier for me than moderation!

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  • I am exactly the same! I’ve found that your approach (just don’t buy them/have them in the house) works best for me as well. I have the most trouble when my kids want something like that. I’ve been slowly replacing their old favorites with healthier homemade versions or just something different entirely like frozen fruit pops or smoothies.

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  • Thank you for sharing your true feelings on the matter. I would assume that you would practice an “everything in moderation” mentality. I know I struggle with this, so it’s nice to be told “No,” this doesn’t work for everyone, and that it’s not necessarily about self discipline. I like how you reserve the moderation for when you’re at a restaurant, or a special occasion, then you don’t feel like you’re completely deprived – which only creates a vicious cycle for the all or nothing personality.

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    • I don’t feel deprived because I don’t restrict calories, and I eat as much as I want. One nice side effect of quitting the junk/treats is that I don’t crave it anymore. I find that if I give myself a taste, I crave more. Now I can look at a piece of cake and have no desire for it. It’s a nice place for me emotionally. No one wants to live each day suffering.

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  • In 2008 my husband and I started eating a plant-based diet. In fall of 2016 on a whim I gave up gluten too in hopes it would help with my headaches. It is helped tremendously. Personally I have found that it is much easier to just know that I do not eat things that are not vegan and I do do not eat things with gluten, then it would be to stop myself after one piece of cake when I followed a regular diet. For a couple of years we were very strict plant based, nothing with sugar nothing with added fat. Now from time to time I will indulge in something sweet or rich but I then find myself craving more. I’ve always explain this to myself as evidence that I have no self-discipline. But saying I don’t do things well in moderation is so much more accurate. Thank you!!!

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    • You’re welcome! Sometimes, you just need to look at things from a different perspective. You have a tremendous amount of discipline, and moderation has nothing to do with that. :-)

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  • Hmm. Cadbury mini eggs. My current nemesis, Yup, no such thing as moderation here either. I do much better when the stuff isn’t around! I agree with you about not having it around. When it’s not available I stop craving it.

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    • I could use some of those delicious chocolate chip paleo cookies that you made last time you were here… Mmmm..

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  • Thank you, Masumi!! Thank you sooo much!!
    I can relate so much with your post!! Most of my friends and family members eat in moderation and I am definitely an all-or-nothing girl. Not just when it comes to food but with almost everything. haha For years I felt like there was something wrong with me. And although I realised that I am a different personality I still felt like I somehow should change and live/eat with moderation. I try to never have junk food or sweets in my home because when I do I eat all of them in almost one bite. :D :D hahaha
    I am very strict with my own morning routine and my breakfast. I never thought about it. I just prepared it as much I could in the evening and then just went through it in the morning. And my family and friends always somehow made me feel bad about it (“you’re too strict”, “you’re not flexibel enough”, …).

    Your post gave me more confidence!! :) :)

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  • I am the same way. I love Wise chips,but can’t stop eating them. I just stopped eating them.

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  • I’ve never been into sweets and I’m one of those few who can have a bite and toss the rest away. What I can’t have a bite of is bread or chips! So, like you, I rarely have them in the house and bread (like I like it-buttered up and melt-in-your-mouth soft) is a restaurant treat! My husband sticks the house with cookies, candy, chocolates, etc and I am never even tempted to touch them. Thank heavens he doesn’t have a taste for the starchy carbs like I do! Thanks for sharing!

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  • Avoiding snack food or sugar or flour means not only means that I don’t overeat the stuff that is in front of my face but moreover that I do not CRAVE that stuff when I’ve been off it for some time. Craving makes me insane & eating snack foods, sugar & flour makes me crave more unhealthy food. Eating in a disciplined way is a key to freedom from obsession about food. I channel my obsession into yoga instead!

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